Little Johnny Joke

Dialogues from a standard 3 class room (between two students Tom the smart and Johnny the genius & the teacher)
Tom: Teacher, teacher; is the bus is male or female?
Teacher: Hmm… (Thinks…)
Johnny: It’s female
Tom: But y Johnny?
Johnny: B-coz everybody enters in it.
Teacher is in trouble while Tom in doubt hearing this answer.
Tom: If bus is female and everybody enters in then y bus do not get pregnant?
Johnny: B-coz all enters from back door.
Teacher is now in deep trouble while Tom becomes more curious.
Tom insists: But driver and the checker enter from front door?
Johnny: You didn’t notice ever!! They wear hat before entering.

If you could be God's worst enemy, or nothing, what would you choose??

What is worse? Hell or nothing.

Season of reservation!!!

Like many other things (e.g. soccer), this seems to be a season for reservation too. Everybody who can, seems to be demanding for the reservation directly or indirectly.

Recently a study report was released that the Indian media is governed by "high-class" people, with only 7% people from other castes at higher posts. Seems that they have made a good point indirectly, that just like education media business should also have reservation.

A few days ago, students from Pakistan occupied Kashmir demanded for reseravation in IITs and IIMs, claiming that they do have right to study in these institutes as India always project PoK Kashmir as its part. Indeed a valid demand!!!

And the latest I came across - Muslims are demanding quota in jobs and politics.
I guess they forgot to ask for a quota in the education too. In fact I'd say there should also be a quota for other minorities too like Christians, and Sikhs and why should only SC/ST/OBCs entertain their constituionaly rights?

After all that would only define India as truly secular and republic country.

Nice joke!!!

A guy goes to the doctor and says, “I got this sex problem, doc”.

“Well”, says the quack, “Tell me about your average day”.

“Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for a nookie and then again about 5 o’clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work.”

“Oh I see”, said the doc.

“No, hang on”, said the man,”…you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there.”

“Oh….now I see”, said the quack.

“No you don’t”, said our hero. “When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom”. “Oh….now I see”, said the quack.

“No no no”, he said. “When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady I’m very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie”. “Now I understand”, said the patient doctor.

“No, hang on”, said the bloke. “When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she’ll give me the sack.”

“Ahh….”, said the doctor, “now I see..”

“No, there’s more”, said our man, “when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex after dinner.”

“What’s your problem?”, asked the doc.

“Well…”, said our hero, “it hurts when I wank.”

Marathon

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s’ car pull into the driveway. She looked out the window and yelled to her lover. “Quick jump out the window”. My husband’s home early!!

“I can’t jump out the window!” came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets “It’s raining out there!”

“If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” she replied. He’s got a very quick temper and a very large gun. The rain is the least of your problems!”

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual Marathon.

So he started running alongside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked,with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while, a small group of runners, which had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer?

“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.”Oh yes!”

He replied, gasping in air. “It feels so wonderfully free.”

Another runner moved alongside. “Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?”

“Oh, yes” our friend answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”

“Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”

“Nope.” said our friend “Just when it’s raining.”

Indian Politics, a mockery on its face!!!

The condition of Indian politics is deteriorating everyday, and nobody can think of any way for rescue. Here are just a few examples.

1. Since Aamir Khan spoke against the Gujarat govt., his movie was banned in Gujarart, and it's being attributed to the movie distributors. Why the hell would they like to bear heavy losses for some statements against somebody else. Govt. says it'll try to get the movie released in Guj, but then couldn't get it released; is it actually possible? On the other hand the opposition party members who initially were speaking againg Aamir, soon joined the media to critcise the govt.

2. The movie Da Vinci code which is being shown all over the US and most other countries, where Christianity is the major population, is being banned in seven states in India, because of minority voices. So what effect the major (and really substantial population) could not create anywhere else in the world(or were they more judicious to understand the matter?), was actually created in India by handfull of people.

3. BJP demanding to drop the bill on Office of Profit, after the president returned it back. How can a political party change its stance, which was present at the time of passing the bill in the parliament in the first place.

4. The tragedy of Rahul Mahajan - the party is totally confused how to react it. While some leaders are trying to defend, the official spokesperson states it as simply a family problem, while a few weeks ago the problem of the same family was being termed as national loss. This is called damage control.

5. The role of left parties in the govt. To me it seems they speak more often against the govt policies then the opposition itself. Probably they find this as their moral duty.

6. And above all, the current reservation issue. I won't go into the details except pointing out the fact that, the political parties who could't agree even on the most sensible issues, all happen to have same views on reservation, though they tend to change the wordings to prove their uniqueness. The thing is no party can be bold enough to risk loosing the vote banks.

The derision becomes even more obvious if one goes through any of the interviews where the reporters actually tend to ask some serious questions rather then just getting out some news to print. The answers of these ministers seem to be more dumb then what possibly any one else can ever imagine. Few examples on the IBN show Devil's Advocate are:

Arjun Singh
Nitish Kumar
Kamal Nath

How blatantly they deny any fact. They don't go by the statistics, they don't understand major public opinion, they don't care for the views of the scholars, what they do follow is the politics of vote.

If this is the condition of politics which party would one like to select? Whom can you say is less corrupt, or more socially motivated then others??

Another tragedy in my ‘Life’

Recently I was assigned teaching assistant of the course “Machine Design”, which finally put the last touches on my being a “Phadda”. Now my agony is that the workload in that course for me will be much more than I’ve ever taken in my life for my courses, even in an entire semester. I don’t know how many grades I’d have improved if I’d have ever been serious like what’s being demanded from me now. And the satire is supplemented by the fact that my personal grade in that course was among my lowest. And to add to my misery I’ll have to attend the lectures too which will be at…guess….7:30 AM daily. God!!! I haven’t ever attended any class at that time in my entire life. Still at last I’ll say poor students.